Stop Date/Epic/Meet the Spartans/Superhero/Scary Movies... PLEASE!

UPDATE 04.22.2008

I strongly encourage you to check out his post as its much better.

Just fucking stop this shit. Quick making the gullible public pay $20 for 2 tickets plus $20 for stale popcorn with some flat soda for the world to be subjected to these fucking shitfest movies.

I have news for the viewers who got excited by the trailer. What you saw in the trailer is the only "good parts." (If they are even that.)

What happened is that Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2 were reasonably funny. Scary Movie 3 was also decent. They were absurd films that gave us a few chuckles, but none of them were blowaway classics.

So then, 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie decided "Hey, you know what this world needs, several uninspired spoof films! By the way, what does satire mean again?"

So then came Date Movie... Epic Movie... Meet the Spartans... and apparently we are about to be treated to another next year! That film is Goodie Two Shoes, a parody of Superbad (Which, by the way, Superbad is an awesome movie.).

The remaining members of the Scary Movie team then went on to make the shitfests Scary Movie 4 and Superhero Movie. Then... other writing teams decided to take a stab at the genre and we then received films such as The Comebacks.

The biggest problem with these films is that they are NOT PARODIES, SATIRES, OR SPOOFS. They aren't even really jokes. They are mostly pop culture references with a wink and smile inserted.

Think of that 7 year old kid who makes one cute joke that gets everyone to laugh once. Only they repeat that joke for an hour and a half and it gets to the point that you want to stab yourself in the eye. THAT IS WHAT DESCRIBES THESE MOVIES.

Remember the days of Mel Brooks films such as Blazing Saddles and Spaceballs? Remember some other classics such as Spinal Tap? How about Airplane? Those were good parody films.

Looking for some modern ones? Then look no further than Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead. Those films are intelligent take-offs of everything that accompanies the genre that they are parodying without being so obvious about it like Meet the Spartans or Epic Movie. Enchanted is also a delightful over-the-top take on cliches found in Disney films.

Of course, why do these films end up doing so well even if almost everyone you know hates this shit?

I have a few theories:

• People who don't know any better see the trailer and says "That looks funny!" Then, these films have strong opening weekends because people get suckered into it again.

• People want to see a good parody film. They think "Okay, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, and The Comebacks were all horrible... this one has gotta be better. Right.... right?"

• 12 year old kids beg/wear down their parents into taking them to see it.

• Movie studios are purposely picking weekends where there isn't any strong competition. People who go see movies every week, like myself, get desparate and purchase a ticket to the film.

The movie studios will continue to earn $20 million on opening weekends for these horrible movies every year as a result unless something is done.

So, when it comes time for the potential shitfests that is Goodie Two Shoes to be unleashed on us, I will post another article here on WYLFWT encouraging our readers and the general public to start boycotting these movies. If you absolutely have to see some sort of a movie that weekend, I have a couple proposals.

If there is no other movie that would serve as healthy competition released in theaters that week, we will encourage our readers to go rent or purchase a DVD of a good parody film from the list that I am getting started on below (user contributions are highly encouraged).

Do I think this will actually make a difference? Hell no. I'm a small fish in a big pond... or rather I am like a baby snail in an huge ocean is probably the more accurate analogy.

Do I think my little blog post is going to change the world forever? Fuck no. I'm realistic. I'm a blogger. Society ultimately doesn't give a shit about what a blogger says.

What do I think this will accomplish? I think that people deserve the opportunity to not get ripped off. I think people who are craving these sort of films deserve some good alternatives that are worth your time.

Will something get done and will we change the world forever? Probably not, but at least you won't feel like you were just robbed of your money. At least there would be a quality resource list for those looking for good alternatives parody films, as well.

Someday, hopefully we won't have to deal with another one of these damn movies again. I guess we can only dream.

RJ45

Good Parody Films (Starting with Modern Films Going Back to Classics):

• Hot Fuzz
  
• Shaun of the Dead
  
• Enchanted
  
• Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
  
• Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
  
• Robin Hood: Men in Tights
  
• Spinal Tap
  
• Spaceballs
  
• Airplane! II: The Sequel
  
• Airplane!
  
• Monty Python and the Holy Grail
  
• Blazing Saddles
  
• Young Frankenstein

Mediocre Parody Films:

• Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
  
• Scary Movie
  
• Scary Movie 2
  
• Scary Movie 3
  
• Austin Powers in Goldmember
  
• Not Another Teen Movie

Bad Parody Films:

• Scary Movie 4
  
• Date Movie
  
• Epic Movie
  
• The Comebacks
  
• Meet the Spartans
  
• Superhero Movie