Ridiculous Real Phobias, A - Z: C

Welcome to a series by yours truly called "Ridiculous Real Phobias, A - Z." Over the next few months, I will be going over the phobias, and running down my favorites from A through Z. I will provide a quick analysis, and suggest a practical joke for everyone to run with.

Check out previous editions: A B

Now, without further ado, let us continue with the letter C!

Cacophobia - Fear of ugliness.

   RJ45's Analysis: Okay, who LIKES ugly? I mean, really. Let us get with the program here!

   Practical Joke: Change their homepage on their IE, Firefox, Safari, or Opera browser to http://www.uglypersons.com or http://www.whitehouse.gov. Either should cover it.

Cainophobia or Cainotophobia - Fear of newness, novelty.

   RJ45's Analysis: Also known as Senior Citizens Stereotypes.

   Practical Joke: Lock them up inside a Shaper Image for 24 consecutive hours.

Caligynephobia - Fear of beautiful women.

   RJ45's Analysis: I think beautiful women scare the scrap out of everyone, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Many powerful men have fallen to the power of the beautiful woman. Many average women have been held back by the beautiful woman. So, I can see this eventually turning into a phobia.

   Practical Joke: Lock them up backstage at (insert random Beauty Pagaent).

Chirophobia - Fear of hands.

   RJ45's Analysis: What the fuck? I mean seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?

   Practical Joke: Masturbate in front of them or play an Addams Family Marathon.

Chronophobia - Fear of time.

   RJ45's Analysis: Well, you have to understand that Time can be a very scary thing. I mean, just look where time comes from!

I mean, this is time's father... or "Father Time" if you will...

   Practical Joke: While the person is surrounded by coo-coo clocks, hourglasses, and alarm clocks, send send in random people to ask him/her what time it is!

Cometophobia - Fear of comets.

   RJ45's Analysis: Way to fear something that you are more than likely never going to have a close encounter with!

   Practical Joke: I would say "BOMB THEM WITH COMETS" but that probably is never going to happen....

Coprastasophobia - Fear of constipation.

   RJ45's Analysis: Aside from the "Who likes
constipation" argument, imagine that it gets to the point where it becomes a fear! You are analyizing fiber content on every fucking thing you eat. Damn....

   Practical Joke: For dinner, make sure they have a big honkin' well done steak, potato chips, and fried cheese balls served with Mountain Dew! For dessert, an ice cream sundae! That should take care of it...

Consecotaleophobia - Fear of chopsticks.

   RJ45's Analysis: Imagine this conversation...

    Boyfriend: Hey honey! I brought home Chinese!
    Girlfriend: I love Chinese!
    Boyfriend: Here is some General Tso's Chicken.... and I got some rice along with...
    Girlfriend: I love using chopsticks! Did you bring those?
    Boyfriend: DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD AGAIN!!!!!

   Practical Joke: This one is easy. Steal all of their silverware and replace them with Chopsticks.

Cypridophobia or Cypriphobia or Cyprianophobia or Cyprinophobia - Fear of prostitutes or venereal disease.

   RJ45's Analysis: Okay, how are the words prostitutes and veneral disease used interchangeably here?

   Practical Joke: 5 words...

SEX AND THE CITY MARATHON

RJ45