MySpace People #14

It has been five months, but please welcome back to MySpace People! 

For those of you whom still live in the internet cave, MySpace is a community site that you can sign up. You get seemingly unlimited space for pictures, and you work on setting up your own MySpace page. You have a wall that people write comments on. You add friends. The more friends you have, the cooler you are! You also get your own blog that pretty much nobody reads unless you actively promote your posts. The other thing MySpace specializes in is finding underground bands. Some WYLFWT.com featured bands such as This Burning Earth can all can be found on MySpace.

In fact, WYLFWT.com has an account at http://www.myspace.com/wylfwtdotcom.

Yes, it has been quite awhile. I just haven't found much time to do this column because of how carefully formated it has always had to be. However, I am hoping to remedy that issue here with screenshots instead of copying and pasting the tables. Saves time on processing and cleaning up HTML, that's for sure!

Since it has been awhile, I won't go with any particular theme. We have spammers, weridoes, and what now. So, let us just get to our list of MySpace geniuses!

First, with a spammer,,,

Hmmm... well, this doesn't seem fake at all! In fact! I think I will message her. I mean, its not like I am going to fall for something bigger than me and lose my money to some pyramid scheme! What's the worse thing that can happen?

For one, she thinks my tractor is sexy... err.. I mean, she thinks my pix are hot! And why not?

RJ showing off his supreme hotnezz with THE CLAAAAAAWWW.

Unfortunately, for Leslsey, I do have a girlfriend. However, I can understand the confusion. I hadn't really been forthcoming of my relationship on my page. Just take a look:

So, I do forgive Lesley, because four times within one screen including a big flashing countdown that says "Countdown to My Wedding" is almost too subtle for even Sherlock motherfuckin' Holmes himself to pick up on. However, I can tell her that I do have a brother, and his goatee can pwn anything.

Next up is a classified ad that I personally enjoyed:

"Hi, I am looking for a serious relationship about love. Here's some money."

If you look at this, you can come to a conclusion of one of two scenarios.

Either this guy is one awesome predator or a really stupid fucking stupid ass piece of shit prey.

However, women, if this guy is who he says he is, have him buy you sixteen Coach purses, three necklaces from Tiffany's, an assortment of clothes from Ambercrombie & Fitch, and maybe a kickass Corvette!

Next up is a spammer...

OH MY GOD! Poker?! Poker is where I am a viking!

FREE Poker? So, you mean that I can play in a game where I could win 10,000... for free? I don't have to worry about catches, hidden clauses, phishing schemes, identity theft, viruses, or reading the fine print! This is something I can easily take at face value. I mean, if the chick in the picture is attractive, it is not a scam. That's my rule and I have only been scammed three times in my life, so I can consider myself having a good average!

Where do I SING up?!

And finally... a REAL winner...

Well, here's to the dumbass manwhore for freely giving out his cell phone number.

Seriously, how many men actually think women go onto MySpace's Personal's and think "Hmmm... I wonder what dicks are being offered freely on the web today?"

How many men actually think women read this shit and say "WOW! This guy has an eight inch penis. Ignoring the fact that he probably has Gonorrhea seeing how he offers himself up to anybody, I'm all over that!"

As for the ad, what thought process did it take to put this ad up. Was he taking a piss, and looked down, and then had an epiphany? How did that happen?! Not only that, but he claims his dick stays hard? OOOOOUUUUUCCCHHHH! Lay off the viagra! Remember, if it stays hard for 4 hours, go to the emergency room. AAAGGGHHH!!!

Also, feel free to call him and ask him how his hard on is doing, and if the viagra has incurred permanent damage on his 8.5"

Well, I really hoped you all enjoyed this column. Some feedback is definitely going to be appreciated.

Thanks all!

RJ45