Customer Support of Newsletter April 2008

CUSTOMER SUPPORT BEST OF APRIL 2008

Welcome to the APRIL 2008 edition of everybody's favorite Customer Support Best Of newsletter!

Another slim month, but we still have some good stuff!

This newsletter basically highlights the best (best meaning worst) situation that we experienced while doing Customer Service. It is open to any call center, website, company, job, etc that involves you and a customer (whether internal or external). So if you got a buddy who does customer service somewhere else, that person's submissions are always welcome.

Just as a reminder, the newsletter censors customers information, and does not supply any potential privacy invasive information. I am basically doing my best to avoid breaking the ethical rules in which we are all bound by. Hey, the materials provided in and of themselves are pretty damn hilarious.

Here was the best of APRIL:

SITUATIONS, NOTES, & TICKETS

Welcome to the McDonalds Nation

Customer complained because the angle of her couch and her Digital converter didn't work. She could not change channels from her couch unless the box was hanging a little bit out of the entertainment center.

Dumbshit Customer of the Month

Customer was upset that phone stopped working. Customer had turned Phone Modem that connected both phone and internet into local office and cancelled the internet. Could not figure out why this would cause the phone not to work!

A dumb rep of the month...

Can not key in disconnect on order due to NSF check because customer has a pending phone installation.

Hmmm... I wonder how the counterfeiting business is fairing in today's economy?

Customer used Counterfeit $20 bill. Account will show $20. Please make sure to inspect all of this customer's incoming dollar bills. Filed police report.

I Think I'm Paranoid...

Customer had concluded that since he had a "partial month" on his bill and because he googled his telephone number and brought different names attached to it that someone had stolen his number. (?)

SITUATION OF THE MONTH

This guy is off the wall! He called and asked rates for internet services. He asked if it was easy to hook up. I told him yes, and that we just need a cable outlet by the computer and a network adapater on his tower. Then he started yelling going on and on and on about how he's free and not in prison and for me to assume that is wrong and that everyone he has ever spoke with is sarcastic. He can hear it in their voice and when he's sarcastic, its funny. But we aren't, we are just prejudice, etc.

A story from the customer...

Our area has been recently switching over to a different cable provider for the last 24 hours hours. In this time, we've had no internet and only had Channel 22. Channel 22 is a guide to the local area. I usually watch TV while feeding my child and I've gotten to learn there really isn't shit to do around here thanks to this local guide. I emailed my new cable company and asked if we would be comped for this system outage.

Their response?

"Due to your equipment still being active, and technically working, you will not be credited for this time."

THE CONVERSATIONS

I believe they call that 'the munchies,' Focker...

REP: How can I help you?
CUST: My cat was playing with the fan, his paw got caught and in fighting to get out, kicked over a glass of water and it splashed on an open outlet next to the modem. We were too high to do anything, it was funny, ya know
REP: ... ... okay .... ...
CUST: Well, my buddy was just staring at the sparks but then there was like a fire and we were just staring at that because fire looks pretty sweet when you are high. But then like the cat, it kicked the modem and it was just sitting by the fire and uh... we need another one.

ONE OF A KIND!

REP: The bad news is that the phone number you have had for the last 30 years is gone, pretty much forever. The good news is that you are getting a $29 credit on your bill!
CUST: Wow, I wouldn't have even bothered with the good news...

THE CONVERSATION OF THE MONTH:

:: hears incoming call beep notification::
REP: ... ... ... ... Cats...
CUST: ... cats... what?
REP: :: snaps out of it :: I'm sorry! How may I help you?

RJ-45