Customer Support Best of September 2007

CUSTOMER SUPPORT BEST OF SEPTEMBER 2007

Welcome to the September 2007 edition of everybody's favorite Customer Support Best Of newsletter!

This newsletter basically highlights the best (best meaning worst) situation that we experienced while doing Customer Service. It is open to any call center, website, company, job, etc that involves you and a customer (whether internal or external) So if you got a buddy who does customer service somewhere else, that person's submissions are always welcome.

Just as a reminder, the newsletter censors customers information, and does not supply any potential privacy invasive information. I am basically doing my best to avoid breaking the ethical rules in which we are all bound by. Hey, the materials provided in and of themselves are pretty damn hilarious.

Here was the best of September:

SITUATIONS, NOTES, & TICKETS

The Very Ultimate in Unpopular...

Customer did not want the internet because she is going to sell her computer because nobody online wanted to talk to her.

And I eould have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling kids, and that dog of their's too!

Daughter called in and is very angry about her experiences with us. She cancelled the phone order and made the remark that she isn't through with us yet, not by a long shot.

Our most politically correct customer yet...

Customer called in and asked questions about supervisors. There are none in. I advised the customer to call back in the morning. He refused and wanted to speak to the owner. Offered number to our coporate office. He said no and wanted to "speak to the head n***** in charge!"

At least this note had an ending...

Customer's HBO was shut off in error. Customer needs her Sopranos. She is upset, sad, emotional, and confused as to who is doing this to her and why. Transferred customer to a supervisor.

I might be able to see how that could possibly be an issue...

Had to cancel order. This is the third time the customer is not home, however it might have something to do with the fact that are no furniture in the house!

I think they make pills for that now...

Customer very seriously and repeatedly threatening to shoot technician upon his arrival because service isn't working. Customer upset that I went ahead and cancelled that order to insure the technician's safety.

SITUATION OF THE MONTH

Son called in and accused us of stealing his mother's phone number. Mother saying the whole thing was an accident. Mentioning legal recourse, even though customer must of accidentally called us and accidentally scheduled an order and accidentally went through third party verification and accidentally let the technician in the home and he accidentally installed the service and then the customer accidentally made calls on the service for the past 3 months.

THE CONVERSATIONS

RED = MUTE COMMENTS

Pagaent Fans Would Be Proud...

CSR: Is Hawaii part of the United States?
REP: Yes... I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh, people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq...

Who knows what anybody wants these days...

TECH: Could you register this for
me?
REP: Internet, sir?
TECH: Yeah, yeah, they just moved in, everything is in boxes.
:: short time passes:
REP: Okay, all set.
TECH: Hey, could you wait for me to get a 12 dot please?
REP: On what sir?
TECH: ...oh, nothing, thanks.

Captain Obvious got promoted to Admiral Obvious...

REP: Ma'am I think they got your phone problems fixed now.
CUST: Are you sure about that?
REP: Well, you did answer the phone
CUST: Oh...

THE CONVERSATION OF THE MONTH:

CUST: I took my computer to the Geek Squad and they were able to connect my computer and get it working.
REP: Well, ma'am, I am showing from my side that there isn't a network card connected to the modem.
CUST: Well, they put in one of those network cards in, but I made them take it out because I knew they were just trying to increase the bill for me.
REP: ... ... ... You do need that.
CUST: Oh...

RJ-45