Customer Support Best of June 2007

    Welcome to the June 2007 edition of everybody's favorite Customer Support Best Of newsletter!

 This newsletter basically highlights the best (best meaning worst) situation that we experienced while doing Customer Service. It is open to any call center, website, company, job, etc that involves you and a customer (whether internal or external) So if you got a buddy who does customer service somewhere else, that person's submissions are always welcome. Right now, we span submissions from several different companies. 

    This one is a small edition due to the lack of submissions. Sorry guys!

    Just as a reminder, the newsletter censors customers information, and does not supply any potential privacy invasive information. I am basically doing my best to avoid breaking the ethical rules in which we are all bound by. Hey, the materials provided in and of themselves are pretty damn hilarious.

Here was the best of June:

SITUATIONS, NOTES, & TICKETS

    These are notes submitted by "technicians" on accounts, or calls we received from other "technicians." You know, where things are "spelling optional," "thought process" optional, and/or, just overall stupid.

Coming from the "WTF" department...

Customer called about billing. Explained that he needed to make a payment by the end of the month. He kept talking in circles saying he did not want to be late, but then would do a 180 saying that we were not going to bully him. However, he then said he was good under pressure and did not listen to the voices. ... .. ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Coming from the "brilliant" department...

Technician called in to change out modem. Didn't work. So, he swapped back to old modem. It didn't work so he changed back to the modem he just changed out. That didn't work so sub changed to the previous modem mentioned in these notes. Advised tech there is probably something else going on other than the modem.

Well, that makes a lot of fucking sense!

Customer does not let anyone troubleshoot because the service isn’t working.

Yes, Operator, can you help me steal your service?

Customer called screaming because her cable was shut off someone told her she could bypass box and still have cable  I told her I could not tell her if that was true or not, so she hung up on me

Why should I have to do math when they can do for it me!

Customer caller in about her phone service. I had told her 24-72 hours. I then spelled that out that it means 1-3 days. She now says why did I lie earlier when I said 24-72 hours. Tried to explain 24-72 hours is 1-3 days. She doesn't want to listen and hung up.

The Trivial things...

Customer might change mind about phone services because she had to get a new number, and the new number doesn't begin with a 762 prefix. it begins with an 817 prefix. Advised that all calls would still be local for the area, but sub wants to talk it over with her husband. Will call back. Customer was given package by sales rep and advised customer that they could risk losing their new package if they decide not to get phone service because they don't like the prefix.

CUSTOMER OF THE MONTH

Customer called in questioning his bill. Says he will NOT pay for HBO, but he isn't anyway. Stated that he will not go on medication and that people don't stop bothering him. Customre may have issues... but not with his bill or cable

THE CONVERSATIONS

Uhhh ....

REP: How may I help you?
CUSTOMER: Rain! Where oh where is the mothafuckin' RAAIIIINNN!!!
REP: Umm.... sir?
CUSTOMER: Oh crap...  ::click::

Lame Tech Excuse

REP: How may I help you?
TECH: I need you to register this modem. I had to wait 30 minutes and the customer is upset.
REP: So why didn't you do it yourself?
TECH: ... .. ... Good question...

Always a classic...

Dispatcher: Yes, did you put this order on hold for a reason?
Representative: Yes
Dispatcher: Oh, okay! Thanks

THE CONVERSATION OF THE MONTH:

Tech:  So I am the tech supervisor out here and I have sent two techs out to this lady's house and they see no physical issue at the house.  I do not see how the no dial tone is a physical issue there so can you get it working on your end?
Rep: Let me take a look at things
*Calls customer, someone answers*
Rep:  So I hear you are having problems with your phone service.
Customer: Oh, I was but I had one of my girlfriends over yesterday and she fixed it for me. 

RJ-45