Customer Service Best of Newsletter August 2008

Welcome to the AUGUST 2008 edition of everybody's favorite Customer Support Best Of newsletter!

And we are back on schedule with a new edition of the newsletter!

This newsletter basically highlights the best (best meaning worst) situation that we experienced while doing Customer Service. It is open to any call center, website, company, job, etc that involves you and a customer (whether internal or external). So if you got a buddy who does customer service somewhere else, that person's submissions are always welcome.

Just as a reminder, the newsletter censors customers information, and does not supply any potential privacy invasive information. I am basically doing my best to avoid breaking the ethical rules in which we are all bound by. Hey, the materials provided in and of themselves are pretty damn hilarious.

Here was the best of AUGUST:

---

SITUATIONS, NOTES, & TICKETS

We are watching... YOOUUUU...

Customer called to tell us that he thinks that our drivers are following him even when he pays his bill on time.

Spelling Bee Champion of the Month...

(Actual Note Left On Account)

WAS DISCONNECT 11:30AM THEN SUB PATED AT OFFICE AT 13:44PM HAS TO BE SET UP FOR RECONNECT SHOULD HAVE PAYED TECH OR CALED THEM WHEN REDY TO PAY

Full Of A Lot of WTF-ery

Customer ported to AT&T. Still getting charged by us for service. Customer wants our technician to reconnect the phone up to the nonfunctioning modem that she no longer has phone service with so she can call AT&T and connect it back... again. (???)

---

SITUATION OF THE MONTH

Customer called to remove the phone from the account. Said the service is great, but had to cut the service due to rising prices of gas.

---

THE CONVERSATIONS

RED = MUTE COMMENTS

When Reps Get Bored

OTHER REP: So, what is a rate center reject?
REP: Essentially, the number's prefix isn't for that area.
OTHER REP: And there is nothing we can do about that?
REP: Dude, this rate center thing is bigger than you and I. This thing goes past us. It is even bigger than Sprint, AT&T and Verizon COMBINED! We don't even know how far these rate center decisions go!
OTHER REP: .. .. Okay... ....

Presumptious Customer of the Month

CUST: I wanna speak to yo supervisa
REP: Okay :: starts chatting with supervisor by IM ::
CUST: Why you typin'?
REP: I'm communicating with my supervisor
CUST: You don't communicate with yo supervisah by typin!
REP: Yes we do, we have an Chat Instant Message system.
CUST: Well, you shouldn be chattin with yo supervisa, I should!

That Sad Part Here is That He Stood Up!

OTHER REP: You have been a tremendous help, can you stand up?
REP: Ookay... :: stands up ::
OTHER REP: What do you look like, I'm standing up.
REP: Aren't you in Florida?
OTHER REP: Yeah, aren't you?
REP: Nope, in Illinois!
OTHER REP: Oh... nevermind then!

Hellloo... McFlyyy!

TECH: I need you to register a modem. This customer doesn't have a computer.
CUSTOMER IN BACKGROUND: Yes I do. I have my laptop right here. I've been trying to tell you that for the past 10 minutes! HELLOO!!
TECH: Oh, well, I guess they do. Nevermind then!

THE CONVERSATION OF THE MONTH:

CUST: Just tell Karen... I beg your pardon
REP: Yes, go on...
CUST: I want you to please, please tell Karen... Can I talk now?!
REP: Ummm... yes
CUST: Please tell Karen... I beg your pardon
REP: I didn't say anything
CUST: Just tell Karen, Can I talk?!
REP: ... ... go ahead
CUST: Just tell her the phone is... I WANT TO SPEAK! CAN I TALK NOW?! EXCUSE ME!
REP: ... go ahead...
CUST: Just tell her the phone is installed.
REP: Okay....
:: Cust hangs up ::

---

Thanks, y'all...don't forget to join in on the fun! If you think you have some good notes, hilarious exchanges, classic notes, stupid customer e-mail (for those whom handle e-mail), or something you would like to contribute to next Month's edition. LMK!

RJ-45