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Jokes That Aren't Funny Anymore

(Classic Fries #82)
We are back with Classic Fries! Sometimes on Saturday or Sundays, we will pull something from The Museum and reprint it for those to enjoy! This gives those a chance who never got a chance to read it the first time a second chance, since the Museum itself is so large and its hard for anyone to decide where to begin.
This week, we are taking a look at an old bit that I did on jokes that just aren't funny anymore. I
-- A Day in the Life #85 --
"Jokes That Should Go Away"
April 19, 2004
"This is the new shit. Stand up and admit. Do we get it? No. Do we want it? Yeah!" -"This is the New Shit" by Marilyn Manson
Welcome everybody to the latest edition of A Day in the Life!
Today's bit is one that I have been looking forward to for quite some time. Enjoy!
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"Jokes That Should Go Away"
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My co-director/partner will agree with me that we have become desensitized to entertainment. It always takes something really different to make us laugh. It can range from the completely insane, intelligent/witty, props, "adult jokes," political, and even toilet humor if they get actually innovative with it.
These are the following jokes I am tired of hearing. I may not say anything to your face, but I am cringing BIG TIME on the inside:
This is a joke I can't stand to hear when I make a mistake:
- "You know what assume does...it makes an ASS of out U and ME!"
OKAY! I FUCKING GET IT! I already feel like a damn idiot for making a wrong assumtion. You don't have to through this tired old joke to get me to roll my eyes. I don't even think people laugh at this anymore.
I think these people should get doors slammed on their faces when I
hear this good one when you don't shut a door completely:
- "When is a door not a door. When it is A JAR!" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck you. I don't know many people who intentionally halfways shut a door. This jar joke ran its course a million years ago.
Hey! You aren't going to ever be on Comedy Central! GET OVER YOURSELF...and don't talk about my mom like that!
- "Your momma is so fat/stupid/ugly/easy/old/etc..." OKAY! Congratulations, you just became your own stereotype that your culture is desperately trying to battle...
When I hear this joke, maybe I think you are blonde on the humor side:
- "How did the blonde correct her mistakes on the computer. SHE USED WHITEOUT!"
Although I work with somebody who would probably actually do this, I think we are stretching for material when we make the old
whiteout joke.
Rabbis, Preasts, Lawyers...OH MY!
- "A preast, a rabbi, and a lawyer walk into the bar." ...YA DA YA DA
YA DA!... Hear cute punchline! 2 people laugh out loud while you sit their with a dumbfounded look on your face.
Someone explains it to you twice. You still don't get it. However, you then pretend to laugh so people will MOVE ON WITH THEIR LIVES!
My question is, how in the blue hell did a Catholic Preast, a Jewish Rabbi, and a Lawyer out of all types of people become the best of buddies?
Oh, and leave the Catholic Priests alone. We got the same damn punchline 60 jokes ago.
----
Okay, well, I think I have vented today. I hope you have enjoyed today's fun edition of A Day in the Life!
Would You Like Fries With That? - The Next Generation Quote of the Day:
"So my girlfriend tells me that Hardees has this beer battered cod. Isay, 'Hey! I don't swing that way!' She says 'COD, YOU IDIOT! COD! C! O! D! ...I said 'oh!'" - Josh Evans in Hardees: Fish Supreme Commercial.
Richie Jackson
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