Would You Like Fries With That? - For over 9 years, the revolutionary force in online entertainment!

(Warning: Vote for RJ45 for President in the Year 2020!)

"Suicide, I've already died. It's just the funeral I've been waiting for. Cyanide, feeling death inside. Break this empty shell forevermore!" - "Cyanide" by Metallica

Welcome to the five hundred eighty-ninth edition of the column that started it all here on WYLFWT.com... Would You Like Fries With That?

So ladies and gentlemen, that leaves me with just one question... ARE YOU READY? No, I said ARE YOU READY?

Then, for the thousands reading this today, and for the millions reading this in the future, LLLEETS GET READY TO STUMMMBBLLEE!!!

This month, I have a lot of material here that I have written over the past month that I have saved up, so it should be good.

So, without further ado, let's go with this month's random jokes/puns/rants/musings/etc...

Republican VP Candidate Sarah Palin - So word is that her husband is the president of BP. It is Cheney all over again, only much better looking and without the Dick.

Sex & Relationship Etiquette - Okay, after one of my female friend's boyfriend/love interest who is a "v" (that's virgin, not vegan... don't worry) pulled some crazy random shit that made the people who knew the situation go "WHAT THE FUCK?!", I have some new rules:

1. You're a guy. You do not have a cherry. So quit referring to your virginity as your cherry.
2. Don't schedule sex.
3. Don't be such a pushy douchebag.
4. Do not send a picture of your penis via cell phone unless prompted.

Welcome to the AUGUST 2008 edition of everybody's favorite Customer Support Best Of newsletter!

And we are back on schedule with a new edition of the newsletter!

This newsletter basically highlights the best (best meaning worst) situation that we experienced while doing Customer Service. It is open to any call center, website, company, job, etc that involves you and a customer (whether internal or external). So if you got a buddy who does customer service somewhere else, that person's submissions are always welcome.

Just as a reminder, the newsletter censors customers information, and does not supply any potential privacy invasive information. I am basically doing my best to avoid breaking the ethical rules in which we are all bound by. Hey, the materials provided in and of themselves are pretty damn hilarious.

Here was the best of AUGUST:

SITUATIONS, NOTES, & TICKETS

We are watching... YOOUUUU...

Customer called to tell us that he thinks that our drivers are following him even when he pays his bill on time.

5iN: I am discovering how big of a scam cable TV really is.

RJ45: What this about Cable TV being a scam?

5iN: First CableCARD...To elaborate, 90% of the time we get calls on CableCard issues, it's not because of the TV like the CSRs with cable companys are telling people. Most of the time it's miscommunication between their Head End department that programs the cable cards and their billing department.

IE: Their supposed to get Starz, but they get a cable card programed for HBO. They call billing who tells them that everything in their system is correct and then tells them that it's our TV. At that point it gets sent to our CableCard department who ends up finding out it was on the Cable company's end and WE have to work out the communication issue that shouldn't be there in the first place.

(Free Floating Hostility #25)

Welcome everybody to the 25th edition of the Internet's favorite rage column. Welcome everybody to Free Floating Hostility! This is where RJ rants about Today's Culture Items That He is Bored of, Tired of, or Pissed At!

This is a bit I just wrote on crimes that I feel are dumb. Basically, things that I don't think should be illegal.

You might agree. You might disagree. Whatever, this is a blog for opinions, so let us have at it!

Prostitution

Yes, we are posting our favorite WYLFWT.com videos in assorted digests!

This is just a whole lotta random insanity!

Bill the Bloody: The Penny

GOOD OLE' TWITTER!

What is Twitter? Well, they are "Mini Blogs" where you post very short 1 to 2 second blog entires. How these people managed to market this shit and make it as successful as it is should be one of the first lessons of internet marketing.

I mean, the blog market is already flooded with bullshit, such as this blog you are reading right now! The thing, I actually have a decent readership, but I know it could all go away tomorrow.

So it is my random estimation that 97% of all blogs are barely even worth reading. Now we get Twitter and now everyone wants to tell you about every minor insignificant event of their day...

Seriously, to blog to the point where you have to tell the world your current status is every minute of every day is just a little fucking insane, don't you think? And its not crap that's even remotely interesting, you know. Its "I just had Taco Bell! The service there is SO SLOOOOWWW!" and "Now I'm taking a shit!"

Nobody gives a flying fuck about what I am doing 2 pm on Tuesday, and I am not pretentious enough to even expect them to. Why should I give a shit about what they are doing as well?

The Atari 2600 was one of the most popular consoles of all time. In the early 80s, competitors such as the Mattel Intellivision and the Coleco Colecovision were hot on the trails of Atari 2600. Atari began to realize that game developers needed to be able to take advantage of more advance hardware than the Atari 2600. So in 1982 came the follow-up to the very popular Atari 2600, the Atari 5200.

The Atari 5200's hardware was based off Atari's 400/800 computers. This allowed development for the console, and porting of Atari 800 games much easier. Add this along with the ability to have up to 4 controllers connected at once, the console was very promising. As for the games, unlike previous consoles such as the Atari 2600, the Arcade game conversions are of a much higher quality. There were, though, two major contributing factors as to why the Atari 5200 did go over as well as Atari was hoping.

WYLFWT.com provides a voice for many people that wouldn't normally have a voice. So, we are going to open the floor to all of our readers to post daily articles here. We want your voice to be heard on WYLFWT? We have a good sized readership that is growing everyday, so this is your opportunity!

So we are looking for people to write articles on any of the following:

- Support for a candidate (Barack Obama, John McCain, Cynthia McKinney, Bob Barr, Ralph Nader, and even Ron Paul if you so desire)
- Articles on why you should vote in the first place.
- Articles on Vice Presidential Candidates
- An article looking at the history of elections or looking at the whole electoral collage process. Campaign strategies, etc.
- Articles on getting registered to vote.
- Anything election election related.

One thing, though, is that we are -NOT- going to accept articles on "Why you shouldn't vote at all."

We are also not going to accept any plagiarism. If it is something off of your blog and you want to link back to your blog, that's fine, but don't use other people's work.

There are several ways to submit articles:

- Email it to rjackson@wylfwt.com
- Use our contact form: http://www.wylfwt.com/home/contact
- Once you sign up for a username, use this link: http://wylfwt.com/home/node/add/story?gids[]=1
- Send it to our MySpace account

We hope to hear something from each and every one of you!

I made a promise last April to my readers that when the next Scary/Superhero/Epic/Spartan Movie came, that I would write a sequel, and here I am.

To catch up, here is the last article:
Stop Date/Epic/Meet the Spartans/Superhero/Scary Movies... PLEASE!

Now, barely eight months later, the assholes who brought us Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Meet the Spartans are now bringing us Disaster Movie. Aye caramba!

In the past with these shitball movies, they've debuted them on weekends without much competition (their biggest competition so far being Rambo). As a result, they have debuted at #1.

So I have a five dollar bill that has a little less than 1/3rd of it missing due to age. My bank should take it and give me a new one. This isn't mutilated currency, which I'll come to in a minute, it's just torn and considered easy to verify that it is legal tender.

In fact, I could just go out and spend it if I was of the mind to. No less than three banks, Wells Fargo, Bank of America and CITI Bank refused to complete this simple task. This is basic banking, but I shouldn't be surprised. When I needed to verify the amount of money we needed to have in our account at B of A I walked into the bank and simply asked. Surprisingly no one could tell, in fact no one could actually tell me what sort of checking account we had because every two or three years they change the names of all the types of accounts and apparently don't keep a list.

So if you have been banking at B of A for more than 3 years they will have problems verifying the particulars of your account aside from how much money is in there. Also, since being a bank teller is technically in the service sector they churn through people nearly as fast as retail, which has a 400% turn over rate, no one, supervisors included, had been there for more than a year or two. As a customer this is supremely frustrating.